Swimming 101

I haven't made it to masters swimming in a very long while due to my school schedule. It doesn't help that I've been dog-sitting/house-sitting for practically the entire month on January as my mom is jet-setting around the world. Most of my swims therefore end up being solo.

I usually swim at the University of Pittsburgh. Although there are two pools, one has very odd hours because of the swim team. For that reason, I usually end up swimming at the smaller, more crowded one. It's usually busy and I know most times that I will end up sharing a lane.

I'm not sure if the "new year's resolutioner's" crowd is still on the prow or what but my friday afternoon swim was a nightmare. There were many character's at the pool....

1. Big Muscles Boy- I am a sexi guy and I am tough! Let's race ever other 25 meters while you do 400 meter repeats because I'm hot and super fast! Check out my pecs and abs...

2. Wide Breast-Stroker Girl-No! I will not ask to share a lane with you. I will jump straight in without asking and make sure I take up practically the entire lane, pushing you very-very close to the wall and take 10 minute breaks between every 25 meters.

3. 3's a Crowd Girl-No! I will not ask to share a lane with you either...although there are already 2 people.... I also will fail to notice that you are splitting the lane-NOT circle swimming and create a head-on collision with you while you are doing 100-m fast repeats.

4. Snow-bunny Bikini Girl- The pool is my beach in Pittsburgh in the winter time. I will make sure I do one lap every time big muscle boy takes a 5 min break to check me out.

5. See-Through Speedo Man- I'm senile and fail to notice that my speedos: show my a ** crack and are worn out and see-through.

Please NOTE:
I'm not a mean, selfish person and will gladly share a lane with you. But please ask me first... And even if it's super crowded and you want to join a group of 3- I will circle swim. But again please ask! I don't bite! My hot pink swimsuit and cutie pie cap from Marci are really intimidating.

Anyway I hate to be a pessimist but seriously people!