Saturday, January 30, 2010

Swimming 101

I haven't made it to masters swimming in a very long while due to my school schedule. It doesn't help that I've been dog-sitting/house-sitting for practically the entire month on January as my mom is jet-setting around the world. Most of my swims therefore end up being solo.

I usually swim at the University of Pittsburgh. Although there are two pools, one has very odd hours because of the swim team. For that reason, I usually end up swimming at the smaller, more crowded one. It's usually busy and I know most times that I will end up sharing a lane.

I'm not sure if the "new year's resolutioner's" crowd is still on the prow or what but my friday afternoon swim was a nightmare. There were many character's at the pool....

1. Big Muscles Boy- I am a sexi guy and I am tough! Let's race ever other 25 meters while you do 400 meter repeats because I'm hot and super fast! Check out my pecs and abs...

2. Wide Breast-Stroker Girl-No! I will not ask to share a lane with you. I will jump straight in without asking and make sure I take up practically the entire lane, pushing you very-very close to the wall and take 10 minute breaks between every 25 meters.

3. 3's a Crowd Girl-No! I will not ask to share a lane with you either...although there are already 2 people.... I also will fail to notice that you are splitting the lane-NOT circle swimming and create a head-on collision with you while you are doing 100-m fast repeats.

4. Snow-bunny Bikini Girl- The pool is my beach in Pittsburgh in the winter time. I will make sure I do one lap every time big muscle boy takes a 5 min break to check me out.

5. See-Through Speedo Man- I'm senile and fail to notice that my speedos: show my a ** crack and are worn out and see-through.

Please NOTE:
I'm not a mean, selfish person and will gladly share a lane with you. But please ask me first... And even if it's super crowded and you want to join a group of 3- I will circle swim. But again please ask! I don't bite! My hot pink swimsuit and cutie pie cap from Marci are really intimidating.

Anyway I hate to be a pessimist but seriously people!


  1. Ugh. I don't understand people who jump in a lane and don't wait for you to get to the end to acknowledge they are in your lane. I mean, even in a 50M pool, it's another 90 seconds they have to wait.

  2. oh yeah, sounds like all pools have a few interesting characters. maybe it's a friday thang. someone needs to tell these guys wearing worn out speedos (and also worn out bike shorts) that it's time to retire do you do that tactfully though?

  3. I know the characters all too well. Wow, return to swimming not looking quite so inviting anymore.

  4. I bet you looked adorable in all your pink... esp the cutie pie cap :)

  5. The 2,3, and 5's are the worst offenders around here...only they are just here around the new year, they are bad pool etiquette lifers.

  6. Ahhh! I have a couple of your characters at my training facility as well! you are missing a couple of the doctor told me swimming is good characters! I am all for promoting physical fitness, but....can you get your fat ass to the pool at another time of day when people arent training! Happy training!

  7. I try and think of it all as good practice for my mental state of mind during the actual swim in a triathlon.
    it helps... sort of? ;-)

  8. Ha ha you should see my "co-swimmers". But here in the UK circle swimming is the norm. You only ask if you want to share the lane when there is one other in there.

  9. LOL! I run into these guys and more all the time.

  10. Just started reading your blog and I love it! And you are right about people at the pool. They seem to be at every pool!